TEN ERRORS MEN CALL ENJOYMENT IN MARRIAGE

10 ERRORS MEN CALL ENJOYMENT

INTRODUCTION

What Is The Dictionary Meaning Of Enjoyment?

*According to the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary: the noun “Enjoyment” was born from the verb Enjoy and it simply means the“pleasure that you get from something.” OR“Something that gives you pleasure.”

Now we have understood what enjoyment really means; let us now consider these 10 points and attitudes some men call enjoyment or that really looks like enjoyment to some men.

Objectives:

To understand the basic enjoyment and how it affects the family
To impact lives especially married men in such manner that at the end of this article, they may come back to reality of what enjoyment meant and how to enjoy in the family
Above all, to use this medium to reunite some homes that has been broken or is about to break under the menace of the misleading or the so-called ENJOYMENT that we shall be discussing soon.

HERE ARE THE BASIC 10 ERRORS MEN CALL ENJOYMENT, NUMBER 9 WILL SHOCK YOU

1. Sticking With Old Friends Who Does Not Understand Or Appreciate The Secret Of Marriage Norms:

Here, I mean to say those friends or even some relatives, who does not value the rule or the secrecy of the family and marriage. They always come to this man’s house to take him out either to go to the joint or other places they had formed the habits of going on almost daily bases.

Some does not really need to come to the house, the man will go out by himself and if he waits a little while back home; it will look as if he is taking much of his friends’ time who might have gone to the venue waiting. They have meeting time and different venues. He cannot just be at rest. He will virtually do everything in a hurry while at home like one who is about to miss his flight

One will be wondering what actually could be their missions or point of interaction each time. They only meet to update themselves on the day’s activities back home- how their wives or wife did this or the other. This is an avenue where some men sell the dignity of their wife and that of his home at a free cost. A man who falls into this awful habit cannot find peace in his house and cannot know anything truly going on in his family. He gets information about his own house like a stranger. They are not in acquaintance-not even with their kids and their own wife who had become a total stranger to him.

It was said by the senior Pastor of Dunamis;Dr Paul Enenche, that“whatever you think continually inside of you, reflects to you physically”. When you begin to think about the errors you now see in your wife or begin to listen to the error observations also noticed by your friend in her; you will definitely begin to grow hatred on her.In addition, this hatred will become a thorn on your flesh and you will lose the joy and peace you should have at home (in your own house). Some men complain that their wife is always quarrelsome and does not give them rest at home. Therefore, the only person he confounds on is his friend and the only place he finds peace is outside his home. My friend, wake up from sleep because you are digging your grave by your own hand. A woman is like arithmetic. They have formula. If can be able to find her formula, she becomes your favourite.

What You Need To Do

You need proper understanding o f what marriage is especially the biblical standard of what marriage is and should be“… And He answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that He Which made them at the *beginning made them male and female?”(Matthew 19 vs 4)

What it implies is that you and your wife are on your own. It also means that nobody even that your friend should not poke nose into your affairs.

Some friends are like the Pharisees in the Bible reference above. They came to inquire from you but when you give them strategic answer that shows your maturity like Jesus did, they will depart to rest. Friendship should not be part of family affairs.Do not forget that it was just the both of you from the *beginning.She had been your most preferred companion. Remember the *beginning and let the spirit of the *beginning maintain the affairs of the journey because you are just *beginning.

You need the spirit of *Oneness. Adam says: “ …this is now the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”(Genesis 2 vs 23-25) The truth is that the moment you take your wife as your own self, you have conquered the bad influence from friends. They can call you many names like-woman pet or woman wrapper etc but hold on to her and make her your favourite and you will never stay a moment without her.
“For this reason, shall a man *LEAVE his FATHER and MOTHER… (Including FRIENDS) and *CLEAVE to his WIFE. (Genesis 2 vs 24). Therefore, you see my dear brother, those reasons of yours in not enough for you to stay away from her. *Cleave here means continuous companionship.

Before I conclude on this point, let me share this story with you. It is not fiction but it my own story. I married a girl I never know has the error of fast speaking. I mean, she lost controls on speech or simply lacks manners of approach. This is one symptom in woman, which always erupt bullying and domestic violence. Naturally, I am hot tempered.It was a serious challenge to me because I made a vow to myself that I will never raise a finger against any girl I will call my wife (before I married). You can imagine the situation here. I also began staying away from home and relying on my childhood friend who is single but the one I think can give me solutions.

“I have always advised you to end this relationship,” he told me again. “That girl does not know your worth. I mean, why can’t she respect you once and here you are always running away from the apartment you rented with your money….”

Thank God for wisdom to think. I sat myself down when I got home that night beside by wife who was lying and weeping, her pretty face soaked with tears. This could have been what she had been through all this days while am busy doing nothing meaningfully away with my friends. I came to the understanding that women are like little kids. Sometimes they become so disturbing that they cannot allow you one peace except you *humble yourself and*listen.Moreover, when you do this, you will then *teach them the right way to approach a father when a child needs something like teach the lad to greet first before making requests. You need these three keys too:

Humility (do not seem to be the Mr Right of all times. You might need some corrections too)
Listen (discover what is it she want. She might be making sense)

Teach (tell her the best way to approach you with love especially when you are in bad mood)

*Maintain the right company. (Proverbs 13 vs 20)

*Iron shappeneth iron. (Proverbs 27 vs 17) It is better to work alone than to work with bad company.

2. Taking Of Alcohol

I shall not be preaching you against taking of alcohol here. Even at that, it will be important and might be beneficial to you if I use this opportunity to remind you the Bible recommendations for who should really take alcohol and why they should take it.

Vs.4 “It is not for Kings, O Lemuel, it is not for the kings to drink wine, nor for the princes strong wine”.

Vs.5 ”Lest they drink and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted”

Vs.6 “Give strong drink unto him that is ready to *perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts” (Proverbs 31 vs 4- 6)

Alcoholism have broken some homes and made some women live miserable lives of fear and terror even in their own husband’s house whereas, the man calls or sees it as enjoyment. Hmm! If a man must be thought all things, there is one thing he needs no one to teach or remind him.That is how to drink *responsibly. Even the brand manufacturers of those alcoholic drinks while advertising their brand products will always *warn, “…drink *responsibly”

My Questions Are:

*Why do some men still drink to stupor?
*Does it mean they cannot read the instructions stated on the label or maybe they do that out of lawlessness?

One great thing is that some of these men have beautiful wives who would plead with them out of pure heart of love after cleaning up their mess, to stop taking alcohol. However, because of pride, they will simply ignore having the mindset of “who is she, a woman I married with my money, to control me and tell me not to drink and enjoy myself?”

Let me quickly outline some level of enjoyment that alcoholism can take you concisely. I will not talk about the medical disadvantage of it to your health because am not on the medical line and I would not have all the time researching for that. Now here are some physical and mental things you gain because of getting drunk:

Enjoyments You Gets From Alcoholism:

Humiliation– It gives you the unmerited embarrassments you would never get even if you were mentally ill. See what you bought with your own money just as you married her with your money too. My father once said to my hearing that a mad man is better than a drunkard is. He said for instance; if there were a fire outbreak: a drunkard will lie down and shall be burnt but a mad man will run away for his life.
Shame and reproach– Have you ever got drunk and people began to play the mental video clips of how you misbehaved in the previous night the next morning? They will be demonstrating and laughing but you will be melting in shame and it will become a reproach upon you. You might even damage some of your properties or other people’s. That is how alcohol can disgrace you even in the street.
Dishonor amongst your kids and even your wife: This can extend to the neighborhoods.In addition, you will be addressed in such manners like“Is it not that drunkard?”Even your wife and children will be addressed as: “wife and kids of that drunkard”
Domestic violence and constant bullying: At a time, your small kid will greet his/her class teachers like “Anty, do you know that my Dad beat my Mum again last night?”
Lost of peace and true happiness.
Lost of focus and integrity

Way Out

Anything you will eat or drink that will bring you regrets the next day, do not eat or drink it at all.
If must drink, drink responsibly with the alerting consciousness not to disrupt the joy and peace of your wife at home.

I deem it more responsible to bring your alcoholic drinks home and drink. Better still, buy the alcoholic drinks and keep them at home and drink responsibly too. You will even enjoy it more with a romantic sip from your wife sitting right beside you.I have learnt this system from my late father. I do not take alcohol. Mine is natural

If you must also, drink outdoors, I advise that you go with your wife. Her presence will not allow you go extra miles or go into unnecessary competitions with those folks around you.
Do not make alcohol your consoling mate or a means of digesting your mental traumas. If you and your wife cannot sort it out, kindly visit a professional counselor or your priest in your local church. Remember Proverbs 31:6
I will even suggest that you do not take it at all. If I can stay without it and function very well, you too can.
3. Keeping Late At Nights

Man is the pillar of the house and at the same time, the chief security officer of his home. A woman relies on the strength of her husband. The presence of a man in his house especially in the nights saves many issues.A woman pampers the children but a man cautions his children. For example, if a man have a female teenager that is just coming in to puberty stage or coming out of it; she will have the greater fear and cautions mindset to stay indoors or quickens her steps to come back home before her father will come home. This will reduce the tendencies of indecent exposures of the girl to peer groups and cautions her vigilantly against some peer pressures and this will definitely save the family from the risk of premature pregnancy. At least, we all have mother and we remember how they try to cover us up from the vengeance of our father’s anger. The same applies to your wife when you are not at home or when you are keeping late at nights. There are certain attitudes your child cannot display in your presence.

On the other hand, some men who keep late at nights do that because of some stupid reasons; maybe that he will not be addressed as “woman wrapper” by his fellow men that do the same thing. That is to say, it will appear before them that he is afraid of his wife or that his wife controls over him or maybe, that he loves his wife so freaking. It might sound funny, but to my best of knowledge based on frank experience, these are raw facts.

Man, you need not to give a dam to what people say or think of how you love your wife. You should be crazy about that. Let it be heard and rumored all over the places how you love and cherish your wife. Let the neighborhoods sue you to court of jealousy because of how crazy you distract them with your loving. This is the best news. I learnt from experience that women are like little children in tenderness. Those gifts you buy for them sometimes does not really impress them more than your presence. They love cuddling, tender touches, sweet and romantic play around and even some dirty talks…. Do not deprive her of all these. She may not ask you but trust me, she need them seriously.

The truth remains that if you love your wife practically, the love will affect your children practically and they will grow with that mentality to make the best homes out there. Study your wife curiously and patiently, to know what she want and what she despises. Give it all to her because she is your treasure, the bone of your own bone and flesh of your own flesh. Who else should be dearer to you more than your own wife should?Not even your mother! It does not make you stupid but superior and you will enjoy peace and happiness to live a very prolonged and fulfilled life. Come back home on time for your sweetheart because she is missing you already!

4. Chatting Or Calling Of Your Ex-Girlfriend/Other Girls

I will not take much of time on this very point.But one thing I must tell you is that women are too deadly jealous over their man especially their own husband. They can go any mile and do everything to secure their man. Why do women have the guts to pour raw acid to their fellow over a man? This is simply how it hurts them in their heart seeing you chatting or taking calls from your ex-girl simply because you think she is a woman and you are the man of the house, the staff of authority. My friend, you are digging your grave.

You will not be surprised over this because that is how it should be. Am sure you as a man no matter the depth of your misunderstanding with your wife; will not just sit one side applauding her if she calls or chats her own ex-man in your own very presence.

The pride of a woman is in her husband. It only gives her the notion that she is worthless to you. Of the truth, some ex-girls tend to be love their ex-man more than their current husband (if she is married); and they will do everything to keep in touch. I actually had one named Bera. We met online via the then social media called “2Go” and from the “public room” as it were referred, to the “private room”, then to sharing of number. We connected to facebook and down to whatsapp and all the social media, we know.

It was such a perfect match because we are both in the same city and came from the same state too.However, the funniest part was that we never met one on one. I only choose not to see her because the love in us was so burning and the desire to see ourselves very high and I know the end part of it if I had ventured seeing her or allowing her come to my place. There is no level of talk we cannot talk both dirty and good, and it was so fun and lovely.Nevertheless, I was not ready to get married although I love her and wished I could marry her. She was ever ready for me even if I do not have her dowry (we can always do it the Lagos way). That was show how ready and in love, she was for me. She was so relied on me and God helping me, my endless advise and cautions works for her in almost every time and situation. She found love, caring and supports in me, which is the best attitudes a woman should desire in a man-not the physical look and financial status. After much objecting so many people, she finally settled with one; out of hopelessness from me and disturbances from her parents more especially, because I compelled her to accept him.

Her husband has seized her phones several times because of me but she has my numbers offhand and will always call me with any available phone to hear from me and give me updates. I severely cautioned her when it was getting out of hands that she threatened to divorce her new marriage. I told her to transfer the love to her husband and submit totally to him and that was the only way she will make me happy and keep my mind with her. It was a difficult task for her but she never stopped obeying me and that was how I restored peace in her new home.

You too can do the same. Be bold enough to speak to her and tell her that you are married and needs focus. If she persists, give her calls to your wife and she will have no choice but to stop. Remember, your continuing with her either secretly or openly will only keep you in comparison of she and your wife thereby, giving you all sorts of distractions and irresponsible error observations on your wife.

5. Going Outings Alone Or With Some Friends

Your wife is your treasured jewels. The pride of woman a woman is her husband. That is why a woman will wear her wedding ring even until she goes down to the grave. Am sure they will use it as evidence to show God after death, how they have kept their marriage vow. Well, that is the light up aspect my dear. Nevertheless, the truth is that, they seem to understand the meaning and usage of that small handcuff, called wedding ring than most men including me.

Have you come across a young married woman or even a married woman having misunderstanding with someone especially a young man (unmarried) and some married alike? She will be yelling and she never stops raising her left fingers above (maybe, showing off her wedding ring) and you will hear statements like:

“Don’t you have respects for married women? Don’t you have a wife or a mother…?”

That is to tell you how serious they understand marriage and honour it. Therefore, the best way to reciprocate such honour is to make her your hand-bang. It also brings overwhelmed joy, confidence, trust and spirit of belongings on her side. The impression will give her boldness and pride of husband hood (joined with her pride of womanhood). People who enjoy this favour from a husband who understands and uses this method will always stand in the midst of her fellow women, (maybe, in a meeting) to brag, “My husband loves me so much that he cannot stay one minute without me…. In fact,eh! I am his most treasured…”

This is the best feeling a woman desires in her husband’s house. Make her feel this way; it is Godly to do so.

6. Spending So Much Time On The Social Media

I will not say much also on this because it is self explained. It is better you are not at home than being at home backing your wife off; smiling only to your phone or talking with her indeed but making a pause in almost every second because of the distractions from your chat vibes.

Ordinarily, even myself as a man, I feel snubbed if am talking with you and you are talking with some invisible people simultaneously. A man who is addicted to this error only creates auspiciousness in the heart of his wife, which will give birth to spying and discomfort in her mindset.

Meanwhile, if you are a wife or a woman reading this, please note it too because it is an act capable of destroying a peaceful home. My people use to say that,“what is seen in lizard’s houseis likely to be found in rat’s house also”

“As fuel is being taken from getting to the fire; so, is fire spared from getting to the fuel too.”

7. Posting Solo-Pictures Regularly On The Social Media

What I mean here is posting constantly pictures of only yourself and maybe with your folks, not including your wife and maybe, your children.

Am not implying here that you will not post solo pictures of you but let it be moderate and let that of you and your household be more often posted. Remember that in the book of the gospel of Matthew Chapter 19 verses 4, Jesus told them that …”God made them male and female in the beginning” That is you and your wife. Note that and apply it on your social media handles especially,these days of scarcity of men when some young girls are out there looking for a soul to devour.

You have to be proud of your marriage union and one way to show that is using your pictures especially, these days of internet and social media trends. Posting pictures of you alone, what I call “Solo-Pictures”; gives room for other women (the online hunters), to come in and occupy or cause frictions where there is not vacant. From simple comments to a deeper one and finally, to exchange of numbers and the game begins.

Therefore, to avoid this embarrassments and distractions, simply post pictures of you and your family. By doing so, you are simply giving them a bold writing like:

Military Zone, Keep Off!

8. Joining Sex Or Online Dating Groups Or Signing Up To Their Sites

Online dating group should be for singles looking for a wife or whatever; they seek for, not for a married man. You are married for heaven sake and you have nothing to seek other than your wife (your family) and your daily bread. You have no reason or rights whatsoever, to join or signup for sites that offers such services.

The shocking aspect of it is how many selfish men being duped of their money daily from fraudsters who are using the platform as catch tricks. Why do they fall prey to these online hunters using nude pictures and videos of people they not even know? It is because of their greediness! The truth is that your wife can never grow old until you allow her to. Life and enjoyment of marriage begins after births. Thank God for science and inventories. If you think your wife’s breasts are sagged, go to the cosmetics market and get her cream that will make it stand erect again. Everything is possible! Women are like a brand new vehicle. Their shining and smoothness depends on how you service and maintain them.

Let me quickly share my experience and one of the therapy I use on my beautiful wife. If I go out there and see a girl or woman and I discover that the lipstick she applied on her lips makes her sexy and I admire her; I will simply go the market and buy her that same colour and she will apply it. I try all my best to make her look sexy so that I will always crave for her. This is also applicable to dresses and dress code. Those materials and appearances that are capable of luring me to another woman or girl, I make them available for her and on her. I told her to wear them or apply them for me. I explained my reasons to her and she understood it and we are good always on that.

Note: if you are a woman reading this article, I will tell you that the best way to keep your man is by luring him sexually always-any time of the day. It is not and will never be a sin. That is why God made marriage. Lure him with sexy wears, make ups, be neat and organize your character in good shape. If he want you to be naked for him, please be and do not hesitate.Many women have lost their men by ignoring these facts pretending to be Holy Mothers. I have heard some women grumble that they will never put on female trousers or make ups because of their selfish religious believes. Except if he himself despises you sincerely from putting those things, my dear put them and look good. What shall it profit you to form all the holiness and lose your husband secretly or even openly to one small beautiful maiden simply because she puts on those things? Do not destroy your own home out of stupidity. It is a sin not to obey your lord, who is your husband.

Going To Illicit Social Gatherings Especially In The Nights

Good example of this kind of place is night-clubs or clubbing. This will only lead you into a straight destruction and great downfall by committing all manners of adulteries and fornication in the name of enjoyment.

The Bible stated it in the book of Proverbs 31:3- “..Give not thy strength unto woman, nor thy ways to that which distroyeth the king”

We all know that the greatest weapon that had destroyed many mighty men across the globe had been the instrument of women especially indecent women and sex workers. We live in a world today that is overwhelmed with abundance of iniquities: Matthew 24:12. Be separated therefore, from such paths. Create of Recreate your wife to suit your taste all the time both in her physical appearances. Let her stand to compete and win all the people that run after you or whom you run after in like manners because they have only made a very deep grave, deeper than six feet to drawn you.

10 Not Being A Genuine Child Of God. This is the simplest; but most deadly mistake, you are making! To be genuinely child of God does not imply wearing suits even in a very hot weather. It was only in those days that men on suits are referred to as gentle-men. It begins in you and exposes outside you. People this days are quick to announce to people that “..I am a born again Christian” If anyone introduces himself in such manner may be in the cost of trying to venture in to a business or contract, please run for your life! Today, everyone tends to be Christians and the so called born again.

But who is truly a child of God?

That is the big question.Christianity means Simplicity, simplicity means Humility, and humility requires Tenderness, which is having a LIVELY CONSCIENCE. You can only have all these if you Love God and you can only love God if you Fear Him and you can only fear Him if you Know what He Loves and Despises. Let this be your daily target and I can assure you that even the saints already cannot be more Christened than you are.

In conclusion, “Seek yea first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, and every other thing shall be added unto you”

I love you and I desire to hear a good testimony from you after reading this article!